Is the internet helping or hurting our social life?
Sunday, May 11th, 2008
Koldo and I have talked extensively about why things just don’t feel right with the world these last few years. What happened to people’s sense of community? And does it feel lately like each person is their own island? Some days that best thing that happens to me is a nice friendly smile. True, things have to do a lot with your own perspective, but doesn’t it feel like things have changed?
A few weeks ago I came across this article, “7 Reasons the 21st Century is Making You Miserable” by David Wong. I felt everything it said on so many levels. It was thinking, “Wow, we’re not crazy after all. All these things we’ve been talking about and feeling are not just our imagination.”. Point #3 in the article talks about how bad text messaging is as a form of communication.
I moved to Spain over 6 years ago from the U.S. Since talking over the phone can be expensive for international calls, I’ve done a fair share of the communication with family and friends over the internet. I can’t even begin to imagine how many things got lost or misunderstood in transit on both sides.
We also do about 99% of our communication with clients by email. I spend a lot of time trying to communicate in a clear and positive way, but I’m sure a lot of things just haven’t gotten to the recipient how they intended and vice versa. It’s regrettable sometimes because when things go wrong, it’s hard to pinpoint where it started. Sometimes it’s hard to imagine what the person on the other end is like and how they think of you as well.
I have thought the last few years that the world feels somewhat more lonely. Online friends and communication by email, chat, and social networking just can’t replace a good social life and meeting people you love face to face. I decided that I needed a break from the internet and some more time just being in the “real world”. Not just to regain real contact with people, but also to tune out all of the negative news and constant barge of information for awhile.
So, I decided to take a mini-internet sabbatical last week. It’s a small step, but it helped put things in perspective for me. I decided that I would check and reply to emails, visit web sites needed for client work, and check job postings. The rest was out. No rss feed reading, no news, no twitter, no mindless surfing. I kept a small journal of my experience each day as a reference.
Day 1:
It was strange not checking my feedreader and several sites this morning. Found it really hard to ignore the orange notification icon for my feedreader. What am I supposed to read while I have my morning tea if I can’t have my news? Curiously, I only drank 1 cup of tea rather than my usual 2. I did get a lot of work done before 10:30 am. That’s refreshing!
2pm: Watching the unread feed number go slowly up….30. Still not looking at them!
4pm: 48 unread feeds. *whimper! I think I’m going to just shut down the feed reader.
8pm: Finished work for the day and had walk and dinner. Really really would love to check the news, but I’m not gonna do it!
Day 2:
Woke up more relaxed than usual, but still really miss reading my morning news. Opened up my feed reader to check job listings. It took forever to update it. 120 unread feeds, I am simultaneously excited and scared to see what the final count will be.
3pm: Missed reading the news again after lunch, habits are hard to break!
8pm: It’s after dinner, need to read something…I think I have an old e-book I never finished.
Day 3:
2pm: Ok, I broke down and checked the weather. It had to be done! How else would I know that it’s supposed to rain the rest of the week?
8pm: 302 unread feeds. I think I will be deleting many when I finally check them.
Day 4:
Did some apartment searching this morning. I am really missing my feeds at this point. Starting to wonder if this experiment was worthwhile. I suppose to make it worthwhile, you need to replace the feeds and internet with something else besides work.
6pm: Cheated and read a bunch of scientific health studies.
Day 5:
Wow, 415 unread feeds this morning. I’m scanning over my feed folders to see which are the most full. I’m seeing that the largest group are fashion blogs (205). I think that will be the first folder to clean up. I am very much looking forward to reading my feeds and news again.
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I think I’ve learned a few things from this. Here are some of the things I took away from it all.
- I spend a whole lot more time reading feeds than I thought I did. I am an information junkie and I think that’s not a bad thing, but I realized that there are a lot of things I just don’t need. Today, I deleted several feeds and automatically reduced my unread feed count from 550 to 350.
- I used to mainly read feeds in between tasks and in the morning and evening before and after work times. I think from now on, I’m going to read work related feeds before work to get in the mind set and entertainment feeds later at night after work.
- I thought I would be more productive, but it didn’t really work out that way. The times that I used to read feeds, I just replaced by taking a break and doing something else like spending a few extra minutes cooking or doing bits of housework.
- I missed the feeds and news a whole lot more than I thought I would. I didn’t realize how much I depended on these things to be informed about the world. I am not a big tv fan and definitely felt a hole.
- There are too many other things to do than be stuck at the computer all day. I think I will try this experiment again some time, but replace the internet with some real social interaction. That could be very interesting.
So, in general I didn’t have the results I expected and I think I would call the general experience both good and bad. I guess the main question that comes to me from all this is “Is the internet really helping or hurting our social life?”.
I very much look forward to hearing your comments.
Photo by Ralph Dagza






